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The paradox:

I am not a sadist - I organize not get great delight from enforcing agony on a outsider or an animal. It saddens me to glimpse individuals being tortured by fascist regimes- yet I love to torture my slave.

The explanation:

When I was juvenile I advised love was a getting command and esteem - but as I expanded older I shrewd that factual love is a giving thing - not anything in the world makes me contented than expressing great delight to my loved ones. It even beats when they great delight me (ah well, close anyway). *g*

What please me in life are attractiveness, love, devotion and honesty. There are many modes for a one-by-one to articulate these things, - you can buy blossoms, you can caress your loved one, vocalise to them, make them antic, and oven bake oven baked bread and all kinds of things.

Most of these things whereas, have an peak constraint that can be arrive to equitably easily.

When you are persuading your loved one in all the nicest modes you can accept as factual of - how organize you add to it? How organize you articulate even more deepness than being as pleasing, sugary, and good to him/her as you likely can?

I have found out that this can be completed by brandishing even more devotion than it takes to organize all the nicest things in the world. By brandishing you is Master that you are his - to an span that out does "being your own". You are his to organize with as he pleases - good or alarming, in great delight or pain. You're his wholeheartedly, because you love him and even more, you accept as factual him. You accept as factual him adequate to give yourself wholeheartedly to him - not constrained by the vanilla "I am yours as long as it’s nice". You are his solely - which entails that it's up to him to distinguish a cause for you in life - that is, to me, the deepest devotion one one-by-one can likely brandish to another. It is the deepest convention of esteem, accept as factual and love - which to me is beauty!

So!

The slave's acceptance of pain/humiliation/whatever is a deep way to brandish whole devotion and love - and THAT dedicates me a kick. It's not the pain/humiliation/whatever in and of itself; it is the acceptance of it from my slave - that is where I find the factual attractiveness of S/M.

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